Out There
by restmychemistry78550
Summary: Doubt is ever present in Rick's mind as he figures out a plan to get more food for the new occupants in the prison. He struggles with Carl's uncertainty as well as his own when he decides to take Michonne alone with him on this trip. She brings along her own demons as well.


**Author's Note:** sorry for any typos, I'm posting all my richonne fics on here. This gets pretty saucy near the end.

* * *

There was nowhere to go, slowly the prison was feeling more and more like a prison. No open space like when it had been first taken from the walkers. It was no victory; it felt like they were just prolonging the inevitable. No one had eaten for days and people huddled next to each other trading stories. Sad stories, happy stories, whatever, it all felt unhappy in the long run. Rick tried his hardest not to second guess his decision but one run after another brought no food. Eventually they had resorted to making trips to the woods to hunt, to scavenge. Being left to resort to this had been a memory that Rick didn't want to repeat. These people were hardly abled enough to help out, the only real helping hands were Sasha, Tyreese and Karen which was a blessing within itself, but the amount of mouths that remained unfed hadn't left his mind. They had to go further and further to find what they needed. Slowly it became a fact that they would have to spend the night out there, there was no other option.

When Rick had finally thought out every scenario, he decided to approach his committee. "Me and Michonne, we'll take the car. She says she has a good idea about what towns are where and we'll get what we can. Simple as that."

Hershel lowered his head and turned to the people who had taken shelter in the cells nearby. "It's dangerous."

"Of course it is," Rick moaned. "But there's no other way. You've got to believe me and if we find nothing, worse comes to worse we know we'll find something at Woodbury."

"Hold up, you're thinking of going to Woodbury," chimed in Daryl, attitude apparent in his voice. "Then take me along with you."

"No," Rick shook his hand and gestured towards him, "We can't have that."

"Why the hell not?"

"God forbid the governor comes here, we need all the people we've got guarding the prison. If it's just me and Michonne that leaves, we could just slip in and out if we get in any danger."

"That's a good idea Rick but it doesn't make it any less dangerous," Hershel sounded concerned and Rick watched him hoping he'd see his reasoning. "It's cold out there."

"Even more of a reason for us to go, the walkers are even slower in the winter."

"We've survived in this weather before, it's just one day, maybe two tops."

"I understand."

Daryl looked at Hershel in utter defeat.

"I don't know man. A pack of us should go, we have more men, we could do an even split," a last ditch effort from Daryl had clearly failed. Hershel always had the final say, Daryl didn't have the best feeling at the pit of his stomach but he grew silent. It had been a while since he had seen Rick look really sure about something.

"Today we're leaving then, there's still enough light out left for us to do something useful," he rested his hand on his belt and looked to Daryl for reassurance. Daryl briefly brought his eyes up to Rick, nodded then looked away. Rick looked to Hershel who placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in an effort to give him some peace of mind.

"Be careful, how is Carl going to take it?"

"Well, he's going to have to. We haven't been on the best of terms but I'll have to talk to him, been meaning to anyways."

"For the record…the kid don't hate you," Daryl weakly smiled.

Rick lowered his head and stared at his scuffed boots, then gently nudged the wall like a defeated child. "Yeah…well…it'd make sense if he did. I've fucked up a lot."

"You tried to the best of your ability, Rick. You need to believe that yourself and Carl will too," Hershel talked a lot of sense but still none of his advice seemed to sink in.

With great timing Michonne walked by the three of them carrying a plastic container, Rick forced her to come to a halt. She looked at Hershel and Daryl in surprise and then at Rick. "Michonne I'm going to need you for something."

"If it's to tell Carl something you're going to have to do that yourself. I'm tired of being your diplomat."

"Sorry for you always being in between," Rick lowered his voice and took the container from her. "Where are you taking this?"

"I'm moving out of my cell," she followed him feeling a little insulted that he felt the need to carry her stuff. "Rick it's not that heavy," she stepped in front of him with an annoyed look on her face. "Just blankets and shit."

"It's the least I could do."

She looked at him, her eyes wide and she nodded slowly as she pointed to her new cell. Much to both of their surprise Carl was sitting taking apart his gun. He looked in as much disbelief as they did. "Carl," Michonne spoke softly.

"I'll go," he looked at her expressing something else in his eyes which she clearly understood. She nodded her head and then shut her eyes. Rick looked on stunned that they somehow already had their own understanding, he swallowed and reached for Carl's shoulder.

"What," Carl muttered coldly.

Sinking his hands into his pockets Rick attempted to smile, "Look Carl I'm going to be leaving today, going to make a food run."

"It's about time," Carl tried to walk away but his father stopped him again.

"Carl I love you."

"Okay."

"I want you to take care of Judith."

"Glad to be of service dad, can I leave now?"

Michonne came out of her cell, her eyes round and upset when she shot a disappointed glare that made Carl's blood run cold. Then she turned towards Rick, "You better not be going alone. I'll go with you."

"I was going to ask you…yeah."

They then both directed their attention back to Carl who was staring at his feet. "Why aren't you asking me to go along," he muttered looking away from them, still unaware of the fact that he still looked like a child.

"…Because I want you to defend the prison Carl…to protect Judith."

Carl knew there was no use fighting, he was still worried about his father but he didn't want to let it show. He just nodded and thought that was enough to satisfy Rick, it was the most he could muster up. With one deep breath he turned around and left Rick behind.

—

The prison grew further and further away as Rick looked through the passenger window, it was like he was leaving home, leaving everyone behind. He had gotten used to this and it was getting easier each time but the worry was still there, the weight on his shoulders never felt any lighter. His eyes were drawn to Michonne for a brief second, she must have been thinking the same things too because she was also looking back. She blinked quickly and returned to staring straight at the road.

They stayed quiet for a while, the air thick. She didn't like driving the truck very much, it didn't handle as well as the smaller car but considering the fact they'd need to take cargo and it was just the two of them, it was within reason.

"Any idea where we're going," Rick asked. There had been a lot on his mind that he had felt stupid for not even asking in the first place. Michonne nodded and stopped the car, pulling out a map.

"Yeah, me and An—…well we passed a Target…"

"You want to go to a Target," Rick smiled.

"Well yeah, we cleared out the walkers inside. No doubt more have probably trickled in or maybe scavengers might have ransacked the place. It seems like it was the last place people would go to get canned food though. " She kept on using the pronoun _we_ over and over, still having the strength to not forget Andrea had been a big part of her life up till then but still having the weakness of never being able to say her name again. "Things went to shit fast."

"I wouldn't know."

Michonne looked at Rick confused then moved the truck a couple blocks forward before stopping, some walkers were trailing after them but she wasn't very threatened. It'd be a long while before they'd catch up and she wasn't entirely done with Rick. "What do you mean?"

"I woke up from a coma, it's nothing interesting really. We could keep on driving."

Nothing interesting? She was now very curious about his story; she didn't think to ask around about everyone's backgrounds. She was one of those people who thought about the current state of things, not the past. Rick was an exception. There was always something intriguing about him, something about the way he would act, the way he would deceive people into believing he was a no nonsense leader when she knew he was a different man. He was a man letting the world shape him but not losing sight of what kept him good in the first place. She wanted to know why. Why did they look to him as the leader, why people were so eager to hear him give those speeches? He was almost too good at them but still she could see the fear inside his eyes, his unsteady gaze, his jittering hands.

"You need to talk," she rolled her head to the side looking directly into his eyes.

Rick felt his hands begin to sweat and he turned to the window to see some walkers slowly making their way to the sound of the engine that rumbled. "We've got things to do Michonne, that can wait." He rested his hand against his chin in an attempt to compose himself. Hell, she should have known everything that was going through his head. She saw what occurred between him and Carl, that was enough.

"Right, that's all you needed to say."

They drove away.

* * *

"This was a stupid idea," Rick groaned as Michonne parked the truck right in the middle of the parking lot, on two parking spaces. The sun had gone down the windows were getting foggy. They had made a couple of wrong turns, Michonne probably would have gotten there easier by foot than on the road. She rolled her eyes and tightened her grip around the steering wheel.

"What if we die out here," he grunted, Michonne's eyes widened and she turned the other way.

"We're not," she stated a matter-of-factly.

"How do you know that for sure," he hissed, his spit spraying in her direction.

"Trust your instincts Rick. You came up with the plan and we'll follow it. We'll just stay put for the time being," she turned off the truck, the headlights went off leaving them in partial darkness.

"I think I see some walkers. Should we get out and deal with them?"

"Only if they become a problem, stop asking me so many god damned questions."

Suddenly Rick grew silent and Michonne lowered her head. He started silently cursing, which only escalated to punching and kicking the dashboard until his fists grew sore. "Look Rick I'm sorry," her eyes grew watery enough that he could see them gleaming from the moonlight. "My head isn't all there."

"I'm not upset with you Michonne," he reached over to her hand and touched it; she looked at him in surprise then pulled her hand away. Rick didn't seem to notice the impact his touch left on her, he was looking outside, running his other hand through his unkempt curly hair. "We probably should have scavenged through the smaller stores instead of looking for one big one that was a big maybe."

Rick's gesture awakened something in her, she wanted the affection, for a few moments she sat there contemplating whether or not she should instigate more. Her heart was still at her feet grieving the only person she really shared a connection with. She couldn't taste anything, she couldn't feel anything, sometimes she'd lie awake in her cot just staring into nothing. A little bit of hope was still there in her whenever she was in a room with him. Whenever she thought she was in the pits of despair she always knew he was even further in than she was. He gave her life meaning strangely enough, she could never imagine roaming the woods alone ever again.

"I still think about her," Rick spoke softly, his hand over his mouth. "I think about what I could have done to have stopped it from happening. I take on these people because I know what I have to do, I have to do something that her and Lori would be proud of…so their deaths weren't for_ nothing_. But I'm not good enough to carry the weight. We had the shelter but not the food. I should have listened to Hershel, and instead of being so afraid we should have taken the prison back and planted those crops, we should have gone back to Woodbury a-and," he was getting choked up on his words, "gotten what they had…but I was so scared. I didn't want more…people…to **die**. So I just locked everyone up in a box and hoped for the best."

"Doesn't matter Rick. You're doing something now."

"I tried to give you up to the governor, god damnit. I'm that far gone Michonne."

"I told you I understood."

"Yes you understand, but Carl sees straight through me."

"You did what you could, yes you did fuck up sometimes but Carl is never going to stop seeing you as his father. Give him time," she leaned closer to Rick, the whites of her eyes were brighter than the moon itself. He felt her warmth, he felt her presence and he didn't feel the need to fight it, instead he kissed her before she did it herself.

Michonne pulled him closer wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her hands firmly taking a hold of his hair. She opened her eyes right as he opened his, he rested his head against hers, a look of dread present on his face.

"It's not that I'm scared of out here. I'm not," his voice echoed through her ear, startling her somewhat. "I'm not afraid of dying."

She shut her eyes and nodded, brushing his hair soothingly.

"I'm not sc-scared of this situation that we're in. I'm scared of what I've got to lose, I survived the first time…but I don't know if I could survive it again. I'm not a born leader, I don't know what I'm doing," his body began to shake against Michonne's solid one. "I can't lose Carl…or Judith…Andrea's death made me see that. My actions hurt people. My rage…my blind rage is what scares me. I feel it inside and it burns… it **burns**."

His voice grew unsteady and hearing him realize the truth was like daggers through Michonne's heart. He said **her** name. She buried her head in his neck, feeling the vibrations of his sorrow shake her very being, she could only reciprocate it. It was so hard to hold it in. She kissed his neck and held him tighter as he sobbed; his cries only grew louder which concerned her. Putting some distance between them she covered his mouth with her hand but it didn't deter him. His blue eyes looked into hers full of uncertainty as she looked around them, panic present in her wide eyes as they darted about searching for any danger.

The walkers were still walking with no real direction but they were getting closer. Michonne started the truck and drove away. "Get some sleep Rick," she finally spoke. He had quieted down and had taken to looking out the window, looking at the roamers slouched against the buildings they probably once slouched against when they had been alive. His eyes blinked slowly, his eyesight growing foggy, his eyelids feeling as if they were being pulled down by little weights hanging from his eyelashes.

The road was getting harder to see and Michonne was worrying she was doing more damage than good just driving straight so she stopped again. She didn't want to get herself even more lost, they found themselves back on the back roads. A fear struck her that they would pass by that Woodbury sign again, she wasn't sure if she would be able to go back. Though the realistic part of her kicked in, she knew if they had to, she'd have the strength to. When the thought hit her head, she unglued her hands from the steering wheel and carefully took off her gloves. Rick slowly turned towards her, his thumb rubbing against his chapped lower lip.

"What are you doing,' he asked, his voice cracked and exhausted.

"Rick, you don't have to do this alone. You aren't alone," she took off her top and sauntered towards him. He looked into her eyes in disbelief then down at her breasts.

"This isn't safe," he stammered, the blood pooling in his flushed face.

"Where is?"

"Michonne…no."

"Look I'm sick and tired of people always putting up a front and just saving up showing their human side until the very end. You show me that side all the time and I don't want to lose you without showing you how I—… not like how I lost Andrea."

"I-I don't know…"

"They come in and out like revolving doors. People have always been that way, coming and going but it's not like how it used to be. They're not just going to unfriend you on facebook, they're dead."

"But…L-Lori."

"You kissed me first," Michonne's voice had a hint of desperation that only served to break Rick's heart even further. He knew better that he did kiss her first, she had lingered but he jumped right in. Some part of him wished there was a book or something that told him what to do next in this new world he lived in. How much time was the right enough time? Was there ever going to be a day when he'd heal? As the gears were turning she had turned away from him, her shoulders looking frail and thin, she covered her breasts with her hands, then her arm when she grabbed her shirt off the cushion. It must have taken a lot for her to make herself this vulnerable; he just didn't have the strength to do it himself.

"Look, Michonne," he softly stroked her shoulder. "Don't put your shirt back on. You're so beautiful."

"Horsecrap," she snapped at him, shooting him the most frightening scowl. Pain was very much present on her face, Rick felt like he was looking straight into a mirror. He put his hand on her cheek and watched the venom in her expression dissipate into thin air. It felt like much needed contact when they kissed the second time, there weren't any tears anymore. His kisses began to miss until he decided he was going just where he wanted all along. The very corner of her parted lips, her cheek, her clenched jaw, the length of her neck, he kissed them all. He traced the reflection of the moonlight along her collar bone with his lips being so gentle, so careful. Her hands moved up and down his back expressing something less calculated, more passionate, more forceful. She watched her chest rise and fall with each breath that came out of her mouth, more labored with every movement he made. Between her breasts he lingered and pressed his forehead to feel her heartbeat, she wanted him closer and her grip on his shoulders pinched like claws. He pressed his ear against her moving flesh and shut his eyes for a second holding onto her hipbones as she moved against him.

He wished he could see her clearer in the darkness, and that maybe they were in his cell on his cot instead of in the uncomfortable place they were now in. But he mused that in sheer irony that it was the most comfortable he had been in a long time. His hands cupped her breasts admiring how smooth and soft her skin was and the way gravity allowed them to perfectly fit in his grasp. Michonne pursed her lips when he caught a nipple between lips, pushing against her and nuzzling, his scruff tickling her. As he switched giving one breast attention to the other she held onto his collar possessively, then pushed him down to undo the buttons on his shirt. His eyes widened in surprise, bright blues and a shocked smile on his pink lips.

For a moment she looked around and then muttered something.

"What was that," he asked, wondering why she stopped.

"No walkers nearby, everything's still in the clear."

"Mmm," he watched her endearingly, still glad at this sight of her.

"Promise you won't make too much noise," a smile was at the corner of her lip as she undid each button on his shirt painstakingly. In all honesty she longed to rip his shirt off but she was being a tease on purpose, the look of anticipation on his face was worth it. He licked his lips and had the vulnerability of a young teenage boy. His body felt tense underneath her form and like clockwork she felt his bulge press against the fabric of his jeans onto her. When she got his shirt off, her hands rubbed up and down his skin, enjoying every twitch his flesh made. She tugged at the spare amount of hair on his chest and he flinched.

"Ouch."

"Cute."

"You're mean."

She held onto his chin, her thumb rubbing his beard gingerly then leaned in; he lifted his head slightly to close the distance quicker. The kiss was every bit as explosive as the one before, Rick could feel his heart taking off, the ice in his joints melted and he wrapped his arms around her. She gasped and started to gyrate against his growing erection, and as if they were running short on time she undid his pants just enough to relieve him of the tightness of his jean fabric. The movement as her hand boldly stroked his penis made him kick his boots against the door and his toes stretch. A nice cot in the prison, hell, a king sized mattress in paradise was all he wanted. There was not enough room but it didn't seem to bother her in the least. She shot him a wicked look and spit in her hand and continued the long strokes, slow at first but she gradually increased the speed and eventually he saw her head lower. In the midst of sweat and foggy eyesight Rick looked at her, his penis in her hand. Just breathing on the head, her lips parted open. Her full soft lips, so close yet agonizingly far, he could have cried right then and there. She could see the impatience in his eyes, he was subject to her every whim and that fact served to make her inner thighs to quiver.

With that in mind she took him in her mouth, relaxing her tongue to take in as much as possible without gagging. She always struggled with her gag reflex, Rick didn't seem to notice. His thighs twitched underneath her and his eyes shut closed, eyelashes slightly fluttering every few seconds. Growing tired of doing the same gesture she began to suck on his head then flicked it with her tongue, he let out a groan immediately and nearly hit his head on the door.

His eyes shot open and he sat up and pulled her into a kiss. "Get over here," his voice low and raspy, he held onto her small waist and went back to kissing her neck, then that spot behind her earlobe. She groaned, his hands groping her breasts.

"Let's get this over with," she commanded and undid the button to her pants, quickly sliding one leg off. As she was about to take him in Rick was a little in awe that she had no underwear on in the first place.

"Mmm," he licked his lips then brought his eyes up to hers, then looked away bashfully wondering why exactly he was bold enough to look her straight in that moment. For a second she looked confused, trying to figure out what move he wanted her to make next, her eyes narrowing slightly from what Rick could make of them. She grabbed his hand and led it between her legs and showed him exactly where to touch. Pressing downwards and then upwards on the area of skin just above her vagina so that her clit was exposed enough for him to find it; she led him straight to it. When he was just close enough to her, she could see how flushed he was, it was adorable. His lips were so raw, pink and inviting that she kissed him as he stroked her.

"See, Rick, lick two of your fingers," she got his fingers and put them in between their kiss, straight into her mouth and then his. "And rub in a circle," she showed him just how and he obeyed, "Mmm circular motion, yeah like that." Her eyes shut and she wrinkled her nose adorably, Rick's eyes grew dilated and even more glossy just admiring her beauty. She didn't seem to try very hard, it was just there right in front of him. The warmth, the wetness that grew between her legs forced him to test his patience, he wanted her so badly. Brown eyes shot open when he slid a finger inside, she smiled and rode it slowly, her arms snaking around his neck messing up his hair even more than it was before.

Michonne wanted more, she wanted far more, she expressed this by grabbing him by the shoulders, leaving red marks on his white skin and positioned him up against the cushion, her back against the steering wheel. It wasn't her best idea, she didn't have the faintest clue how they ended up that far to the side but she didn't care, she just had to play it more careful. He held onto her waist as he entered her, his mouth gaping and salivating just watching her mirrored expression. A gasp escaped her lips, she tried to compose herself and rolled her hips.

Involuntarily Rick began to stutter to himself, muttering god knows what but he didn't seem to have any control over anything. He just kicked off his boots and let his jeans fall further down to his ankles so he could feel more of her, feel her skin stick to his as she moved up and down. Her hands traveled up and down his arms tracing the pumping veins that followed the same rhythm that she felt in her own chest. Finally deciding to make him lift his arms to his sides, her fingers intertwined in his.

_Don't honk the horn. Don't honk the horn, _she said to herself as she moved up and down. Desperately she tried to think of pavement and concrete, anything to distract herself from the fact that he was inside her, filling her up, stretching her, loving her in the middle of nowhere, zombies stumbling about unbeknownst of their presence. Rick didn't seem to have the same state of mind as her and he choked on his own words…

"I-ah-I'm gonna," he coughed.

"Shut up," she covered his mouth with her hand, lowering her head as she quickened her pace. It was mind-blowing, she never understood why she liked him this much, feelings like this were few and far between. She never thought it could ever happen again. Rick gasped into her sweaty palm, one hand squeezing her thigh, the other on her bottom. As she felt her orgasm oncoming she buried her head in his neck and sucked on the flesh so hard that she forgot it was even there between her lips. They both nearly lost their eyesight, everything became so blissful, like such a blur just lost in each other's arms. Eventually when it began to subside they could feel the bitter cold, the chirping crickets, the moans of the undead in the distance. Back to reality, back to that cruel world again.

Michonne looked into his eyes and lowered her head, brushing her hair to the side as she got off of him. She slipped her pants on as he looked delirious and surprised at everything that had just occurred. He was processing it all, trying to find words to say but she just sat on the side of the truck that had been once occupied by him and looked out the window adjusting her clothes, putting back on the layers.

"This morning we go back to Woodbury and we get that food. It's ours," she sternly told him, her eyes stony once again.

"You're right, if we absolutely have to, it's the only sure thing, Andrea would have wanted it that way. I'm going to try," he finally took to dressing up again, a determined look in his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair and looked straight. "I'm not going to fail. I'm not going to doubt myself and I know I'm not alone, Michonne. I'm a lucky man."

"You sure as hell are, you've got too many people to worry about you," she smiled, her eyes growing soft. Michonne was one of those people, she fought it but it didn't take long for her to see it.

He turned towards her, some of his confidence back in his expression. His skin was less grey, it had a living glow to it. "Keep watch?"

"Sure."

"I think I'm going to get some sleep."

"About time."


End file.
